I’m in the middle of a two-week stint in Las Vegas, working as a Writer for the FIBA Americas Championship. My NBA Entertainment gig takes me all over the country and the world; in a few weeks I’ll be making my third trip to China. The Vegas Strip, however, is not a place you want to visit more than a weekend. If that.
Not a fan of throwing money down a bottomless gullet in exchange for shiny lights with ringy bells? Or twice-warmed-over entertainment? Or whoring? Las Vegas Blvd. is not only boring, it’s a soul-sucking cultural black hole. If you’ve read Hunter S. Thompson’s Fear and Loathing, you’ll know that his ugly, drug-induced vision has not only been realized, but surpassed. Vegas has skipped the middle-man and done the drugs for you. How else can you explain a place where Carrot Top is a headlining act? Or a fake New York that feels bigger than the real thing? How about advertisements for 99 cent shrimp cocktails designed to draw in customers*? The most horrifying Hunteresque experience has to be the commonplace existence of Babies on the Strip. 1AM, the Excalibur: the perfect place to bring your toddler! (Pictures to come)
I’ve had a little fun. A night ride on the coaster at NY, NY. A fine little hole in the wall called, well, The Hole In The Wall. The restaurant that time forgot. A place where showgirls go to die. Surly bartender? Check. A 97 year-old, four-foot tall, hobbling accordion player? Check. Dinners complete with salad, two-liters of wine, and a “cappuccino” that’s really Swiss Miss Instant? Check. Okay, the food’s not that great, but the atmosphere is singular. It’s the kind of place that makes me homesick for New York, even though places like this are vanishing there, too.
I miss Bed Study. I miss my fiancé. One more week to go.
* I’ve had a little rule that kicked in back in high school, when Taco Bell had a Two-Tacos-For-A-Buck promotion: don’t ever eat meat that costs less than a dollar.